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While working on our team consensus for activity three, my teammate Ano reminded me of one of my favourite quotes of all time: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” I had attributed this quote to Maya Angelou but it appears that I was wrong, that Dr. Angelou did say this quote but it was not originally from her (“They May Forget What You Said, But They Will Never Forget How You Made Them Feel,” 2014). Regardless, I think this quote captures an important aspect of leadership qualities for me. Leadership is about people and how those people are made to feel. This may be why the lasting effects of stellar and poor leadership impact us so deeply, and why the way a leader makes us feel can lead to lasting change.
In our personal introductions for this class I shared that I was hesitant to reflect upon leadership in education because I had been in such a role and didn’t feel it suited me. Since then I’ve realized I was wrong, I was reflecting upon my experience in Management (which is a role) and not Leadership which, according to author Peter Senge can be “the capacity of a human community to shape its future” (as cited in Sarder, 2015, 2:43 – 2:49). I have been thinking of Leadership as what I once did, as a Manager of a corporate training team, when in fact I was not given any ownership in that role for strategy, vision, or empowering my team to invest in their continuing education. I realize now that my rejection of Management has actually been a reaction to disliking the role, not disliking the opportunity in Leadership to care for people, to encourage innovation and personal growth, while developing a strategic vision for the future rooted in collaboration. That, I realize, is the type of Leadership I want in a modern learning team.
So, how do I want those in Leadership to make me feel as a passionate adult educator and digital learning advocate? One of the attributes I want to see in my Leaders is a dedication to personal development and life-long learning. My beliefs here align very much with a feminist approach to leadership, one where “social justice, individually and collectively transforming themselves to use their power, resources and skills in non-oppressive, inclusive structures and processes to mobilize others” (Batliwala, 2010, p. 14) is highly valued. The social justice lens of this feminist perspective may seem odd coming from someone who works in corporate learning, but for me it is complimentary as these ideals encourage upwards mobility, opportunity, and supporting others in building on their skills to reach their goals. A few years ago I facilitated a leadership development program at my organization which was influenced by the concept of strengths-based inclusive leadership and a book by Tom Rath and Barry Conchie (2008). In their book, Rath and Conchie propose that in order to build effective teams leaders should focus on building on their employees’ existing strengths, instead of micro-managing their weaknesses. This concept makes a lot of sense to me as it aligns with my feminist perspectives of redistributing power so it doesn’t reside only with the Leader (Batliwala, 2010, p. 17 – 18), but also with building trusting teams where individuals share a sense of psychological safety and trust, knowing their individual strengths are seen and valued. I have seen this be effective in the learning team I belong to; when our leaders have a sense of trust and build psychological safety with us, we know we are able to be innovative, take risks, and try new things. As an employee, it’s under these sorts of leaders who prioritize life-long learning and psychological safety that I know I can perform my best and be the most innovative. Aren’t those both results which are highly prized in the digital learning space?
As our class further explored Leadership in this unit I also realized I value Leaders who invest heavily in their own personal development and share their growth with their team. This level of role modeling encourages me on my own personal development journey. Workman & Cleveland-Innes (2012) include this in their definition of “true” leadership, stating that “Leadership without personal transformation is simply different forms of management” (p. 314). I still remember how it made me feel the first time a Leader told me they were wrong about a previously-held belief, that something they had learned made them challenge their previous perception. In their paper, Castelli (2016) lists this attribute – challenging beliefs and assumptions to develop creative solutions to problems – as one of several reflective leadership practices, along with psychological safety and building trust, open communication, relating a team’s work to a broader organizational strategy, building self-esteem, and valuing a team’s diversity (p. 221 – 226). Seeing a leader’s own personal transformation as part of their leadership strategy within a team that values innovation, personal growth, and psychological safety allows me bring my authentic self to work, take risks, and continue to improve my performance. If I do ever rejoin the ranks of Leadership in the corporate world I’m confident I will incorporate these reflective leadership practices with a feminist approach, which I’m sure will leave my teammates with a lasting feeling that their contributions are valued.
References
They May Forget What You Said, But They Will Never Forget How You Made Them Feel. (2014, April 6). https://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/04/06/they-feel/
Batliwala, S. (2010). Feminist Leadership for Social Transformation: Clearing the Conceptual Cloud. https://creaworld.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/feminist-leadership-clearing-conceptual-cloud-srilatha-batliwala.pdf
Castelli, P. A. (2016). Reflective leadership review: a framework for improving organisational performance. Journal of Management Development, 35(2), 217–236. https://doi.org/10.1108/JMD-08-2015-0112
Rath, T., & Conchie, B. (2008). Strengths Based Leadership (1st ed.). Gallup Press.
Sarder, R. . (2015, June 4). What makes a great leader? by Peter Senge, Author of The Fifth Discipline. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aYaj2-GZqk
Workman, T., & Cleveland-Innes, M. (2012). Leadership, personal transformation, and management. The International Review of Research in Open and Distributed Learning, 13(4), 313–323. https://doi.org/10.19173/irrodl.v13i4.1383
Thanks Andrea for a great post – this is a great example of integrating the readings with your own personal experiences. The definition of feminist leadership that you shared from Batiwala really resonated with me as well – I think particularly as we consider how to move toward creating and supporting inclusive structures to help build change. You touched on such an important aspect of the value of distributed leadership – where leaders focus on strengths and are transparent and inclusive in decision-making (rather than micro-managing for weaknesses…yikes, how often do we see that?) that then helps to create spaces of psychological safety where we do feel able to take risks and try innovative new practices/processes. One of my former leaders, an excellent mentor and close-colleague passed away just over a week ago, and your quote really struck me – you really do remember how someone made you feel – and I think as a leader that is something to aspire to. He was supportive, caring, kind and pushed just enough – creating space to take risks and gain confidence in pursuing goals. What a gift!
I am so sorry about the loss of your mentor and colleague, Michelle. It sounds like he really gave you a beautiful example of how to view leadership in your own practice! I lost a close friend as well in 2021, a former colleague who I had worked with and who was just as passionate about pedagogy/andragogy as I was. She had “hyped me up” to pursue this program as part of my personal development, and it was with the memory of her words that I applied for the MALAT program. I hope your mentor and colleague will continue to give you the same inspiration in the future.
Hi Andrea! Thank you for your insights. Your blog post resonated with me on so many levels. I became emotional as I read the responses between your and Michelle’s posts. The relationships with life-changing leaders are challenging to put into words for me – very emotional.
I recently was interviewed by a new instructor at my college for an assignment for his professional development education program. He asked me what advice I would provide to new instructors. My response was adapted from the famous quote about students not forgetting how their teachers made them feel. Thank you for sourcing it properly, as this quote is one of my favourites, too (They May Forget What You Said, But They Will Never Forget How You Made Them Feel, 2014). As I relate to my former teachers as my leaders, I will never forget the ones who elevated my potential and impacted my life forever.
In addition, I have great admiration for Peter Senge and your reference to his work, which stated the “capacity of a human community to shape its future” (as cited in Sarder, 2015, 2:43 – 2:49). Upon reflection, the statement made me ponder the importance of leading with kindness. Since I started this course, I have been on a research journey regarding empathetic leadership. Baker and O’Malley (2008) noted over fifteen years ago that “kindness may not have yet caught on within business, but there is plenty of evidence that it is a key component of our evolutionary heritage and instrumental in cooperative, collective behavior” (p. 22). During the past two years, I have tried to incorporate my “peace, love, and kindness” personal mantra into every aspect of my life. I am curious if you have additional thoughts on leading with kindness, particularly since the pandemic and the negativity sometimes found on social media.
References
They May Forget What You Said, But They Will Never Forget How You Made Them Feel. (2014, April 6). https://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/04/06/they-feel/
Baker, W. F. & O’Malley, M. (2008). Leading with kindness: How good people consistently get superior results. AMACOM.
Sarder, R. . (2015, June 4). What makes a great leader? by Peter Senge, Author of The Fifth Discipline. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aYaj2-GZqk
Great questions and reflections, Marni, and I hope your colleague felt empowered by what you shared with them about leadership with an empathetic lens. I believe with you wholeheartedly and believe that when we make people feel understood, heard, and psychologically safe they are more likley in my experience to be open to learning. I think what I saw in my own experience in the first two years of the global pandemic was very much in line with what Khan defined as adaptive leadership, adjusting one’s leadership style to fit the specific situation a team is facing and mobilizing them to solve a problem (Khan, 2017, p. 179). My experience was seeing this implmented with an empathetic lens, focusing heavily on mental health and challenges with the unknown in order to keep focused on organizational problems (mobilizing a newly-remote workforce while the company was facing unexpected customer volumes related to operating in the travel insurance industry!). Once we were further removed from the crisis of 2020 through early 2021 and our industry (travel) had all but ground to a hault our organization has needed to become much more focused on austerity, and this unfortunately has not returned even when our usual business volumes have. I think re-focusing on leading with empathy now could do us a lot of good so I’m glad to hear that you are guided by that in your own leadership practice!